Saturday, December 19, 2009

I'm Smiling At You!

Last Thursday morning I left for San Francisco to visit my dear friend Wendy who is in UCSF as a result of a level 4 aneurysm. This was to be my 5th visit and to be honest, my heart was heavy. While my previous 4 visits had not been bad - there had not been any change in her condition in 3 weeks. As I drove my mind wandered through every unresolved area of my life . huh . my self-assessment was not pretty.

Last week was strange, and not so much that I could put my finger on anything other than an overwhelming sense of endings - without the presence of hope for what is yet to come. This is a strange place for me to go mentally and spiritually. Those who know me know that I am the cheerleader - it is rare for me not to be able to spin
light into any given situation but driving to the city that day, I could not spin any light into my own heart.

So I drove and thought and prayed out loud. Out loud, without embarrassment or shame asking for help, praying for that ray of light to shine back in my heart - please before I get to the hospital!

The bridge was busy and a little chaotic, I always feel relieved to stop for a second to hand over my bridge fare. When I stopped and looked to hand over my money I was greeted by the sweetest face. An older Asian man who radiated warmth reached out to take my money and all at once I felt that light shine into my heart - there I was! That is me! With great relief I smiled at him and wished him a Merry Christmas, he had no idea what he had triggered in me, just by being him! He didn't do or say anything profound, he was simply there being himself. He seemed genuinely happy to have received my wish for a Merry Christmas and the circle was complete. I drove away amazed at the power of love.

A couple miles further I get to the tunnel heading to 19th Avenue and that voice, God bless that voice in my head, said to me, "That's all you have to do, is just bring you. Just show up and smile, that is your gift." Why, that is just too easy! Just smile? Just show up? Just show up and smile? I can do that! I get it now! My gift in the world is not what I do, it is who I am, wow.

Someone told me recently that love is not about effort, love is not a task. It is not about what you do or don't do, it simply is. Until that morning at the toll plaza I didn't fully understand how simple and beautiful that is. Just show up and smile. It made me realize that I have been working way to hard! Literally doing tasks that I felt earned me love, where did that come from? And you know, it doesn't matter where it came from. What matters is that I can now let it go.

I arrived at the hospital and was a little sad to see Wendy was still intabated, I had heard that was coming out the day before but no matter, she could open her eyes and obviously recognized me - YAY!!! Shortly after arriving the nurse came in to say they were going to remove the nasty breathing tube that had been in her throat for over 3 weeks! They told me I could come back in 20 minutes.

Twenty minutes later her 2 sisters had arrived with her niece. Wanda and Becki went in first to see Wendy without her tube. Shortly after Wanda came back to the waiting room concerned that Wendy said that she couldn't see her and didn't know her! What?
She wanted me to go in and see what I thought. I thought it was funny she would ask me rather than the nurse or doctor but OK! I walked into the room into Wendy's field of vision and said "Hi Honey! I'm here, it's Julie can you see me?" Guess what I got? The sweetest and most beautiful smile I have ever seen! Followed by tears of joy. My friend is awake, smiling, trying to sit-up, trying to talk. Bless her sweet heart and thank God. My heart soared with joy, with love and with gratitude.

Remember the most important part of your wardrobe, is your smile. I wish you many blessings of joy and love today and all days, and I am smiling at you. ;)

Saturday, November 28, 2009

My coffee buddy Wendy

Last Monday I met my friend Wendy for coffee, much like we have been doing a couple of times a week for the last several weeks.

When I arrived I didn't even notice her sitting in her car a few cars over from me so I started to walk in. When I finally saw her she was trying to get out of her car though something wasn't quite right. She seemed flustered, like she couldn't pick up her purse, or get her jacket on or something. When she finally got out of the car she was distinctly not herself. I asked her if she was OK and she said "No, I'm really not. I've had this headache for the last 2 or 3 days, right here." She pointed to two specific spots on her head, one at the lower right in the back and one a couple of inches higher and toward the front. Her complexion was slightly ashen but her usual good spirit seemed to belie anything serious being wrong. She took a handful of Advil and by the time we parted company she seemed to be only slightly better.

Nine hours later I received a phone call from her sister explaining that Wendy had been down in Alameda having dinner with a friend and suffered what seemed to be a stroke though we have since learned it was an aneurysm. Tuesday morning surgery was performed to provide a drain for the blood in her brain, Wednesday surgery was performed to repair the aneurysm. Forgive me if this is incorrectly stated - this is just what I understood to be happening.

Wednesday afternoon Wendy was responsive, seemed to recognize auditory who was with her and acknowledged our presence. Since then, she has been mostly unresponsive.
Today she has a high fever. There is fear, worry, shock and sadness swirling around our hearts and minds, wrapped up in prayer.

Life can change in a heartbeat. Over the past several days I have been checking and rechecking my thoughts and interactions with important people in my life. Thankful I had given Wendy a hug upon parting - and too, it's not just the interactions with those close to us, it is the manner in which we interact with the world. The generosity with which we share our kindness matters, to everyone.

Thank you for all those who have asked and continue to ask about Wendy and her well being. Thank you for the generosity of your prayers for Wendy and her children Ryan and Anni. Wendy continues to be strong as that is her spirit. I believe the destiny of her soul is unknowable to us, however I hold faith that her destiny includes miracles and total healing and recovery. I believe in you Wendy and I love you my friend.

Thursday, November 19, 2009

Riding the waves of transition

Does this sound familiar? When "xyz happens everything will be alright." Or, "when I get a job, quit a job, get married, get divorced..."the list goes on - and on doesn't it? What's a person to do? We all suffer and lament our lives equally.

I am no stranger to transition, in fact deal with it daily personally and professionally, I wanted to take a minute to acknowledge exactly what's going on during these period of great discomfort.

Somewhere along the line we made a request to God, the Universe, Gaia, fill in the blank. It may have sounded something like this "Dear God, please deliver me from this place of sadness and great despair to a place of happiness and joy. Thank you, amen." We quite possibly have uttered the prayer/request a million times over and over in our heads throughout our days.

Then from out of the blue (yeah right) we discover that marriage is fractured, we lose our job, end an unhealthy relationship and we act all surprised! Like, why is THIS happening? We accept this new information as a validation that life stinks
but WAIT! Isn't it possible that this new information has created the opening for you to be delivered from your place of sadness and great despair? To step up and out of the compost of life, gives us the nourishment we need,the opportunity we requested, to shift and grow!

Practice viewing challenge as opportunity. Consider accepting that you asked for this information to somehow support you in making the decision that will change your circumstances. Accept responsibility for where you are and then accept responsibility for changing where you are. Personal responsibility is ultimate freedom. In our acceptance of our life, as it is, we create space for empowerment to create a higher vibrational existence.

When your next transition begins to stir the pot of your life remember - somewhere you asked for this!

Keep the faith that this situation is not all for nothing. Have faith that this lesson is all for something amazing to transform you and your life.

Sunday, November 8, 2009

Now that I hit the wall, what do I do?

Life brings opportunity for growth in the strangest way. Have you ever ventured to share your truth with the person closest to you, hoping to create an opening for productive conversation only to get smacked in the face with your significant others truth? And horror of horrors, it completely contradicts yours?

Is it possible to be in a long term relationship and really, really not know how your partner feels about you? Apparently, yes it is. This realization creates confusion,
disillusion and that opening you were seeking - but it looks WAY different than you expected doesn't it? I mean, here you're trying to have a heart to heart and what you get back is something more like a litany of everything that is wrong with YOU!

Wow, so you mean that your partner had been holding all these truths within themselves for all these years? Truths that say you are maybe a liar, or maybe manipulative? It boggles the mind to understand one another. We cannot then call our significant other a liar in return can we? After all, it is their truth and as real to them as ours are to us. This is where the question comes up then, now that I hit the wall, what do I do?

If what has been revealed is workable, and the wall can come down of course you owe it to yourselves to honor your history together and give that communication game another try. If what has been revealed dismantles the very foundation of what you believed you built your relationship on then it is time to pause and consider what is in the best interest for all concerned. As I said in my last post, "What are you doing in that relationship?" You may choose to take an evolved stance and understand that perhaps this union has reached the highest level of maturity and it is time to move on. Whatever you choose, take each step with dignity. Trust and know that whatever happens, this new opening brings the opportunity for expansion and greater love for all.

Friday, October 30, 2009

What are you doing in that relationship?

Do you even know? How long have you been in the place where you feel like you're happy but, what exactly does happy feel like again? Relationships are perhaps my favorite topic as they truly are, what we have in this world. Whether they are blissful, joyful connections or strenuous balancing acts they are the purpose of our desire to incarnate.

With incredible frequency clients have shown up for their readings wanting to know about their relationship - but wait, it's not their marriage or significant other,
no, it's this mysterious person that the Universe dropped onto their path that seems to have sparked something deep within that they had either never known or had forgotten.

I view these as soul connections, deep, ancient, abiding. Have you ever been introduced to someone that magnetizes you inexplicably? And no matter how you try to reason with yourself you cannot get them out of your mind? Even harder still, cannot get them out of your heart? Don't even want to try?

As we continue to evolve as a species we continue to raise the bar. What was good and nourishing has become ripe, perhaps over ripe. Like the apples that are falling from the tree in my yard, I see that the relationship they held and clung to with the tree has quite naturally and amicably come to a close. Could we be as organic as the tree and view our relationships in a similar light?

Monogamy is the ideal for most, but does being in a monogamous relationship guarantee that it will be forever? Is it realistic to expect to grow, expand and evolve in a relationship that was established when all you knew was how to give yourself away? Or before you could articulate the desires of your mature heart?
Tough but reasonable questions.

The introduction to these soul connections creates contrast in our thoughts, hearts and lives. Contrast is the teacher to help us learn what feels better. Is it really OK to feel this good? I believe that so many are receiving this teaching now because it is where the new bar has been set. These lessons do not come at some random period in your life without rhyme or reason, these are new opportunities to define or redefine your destiny. The point here is to choose to feel better, to generously allow yourself to receive. To generously allow yourself to recognize and validate the intuitive information that says this new person has invigorated your soul.

I know what you're thinking and no, I'm not saying compromise your integrity and hop into the sack with this newly found love! I am offering these words as encouragement to view where you are, honestly and without blame or shame. After reviewing, YOU decide if the tree you are cling to still provides you nourishment. Are you being provided nourishment that can feed you and fuel you to the next expanded level of who you are becoming? This contrast is designed to wake you up. If this has appeared in your life then you are indeed being called to re-view your world.

I can hear you saying, but...but...but...what will my family say? What will my friends say? What if it is true that my relationship is over and my destiny includes moving on...what will "they" say? Give the "they's" in your life a little credit.
I remember when I was exiting my first marriage, I was surprised where the support came from. People who know us and love us can see when we are unfulfilled or unhappy. I remember being surprised when someone said to me, "I wondered how long you would last."

Take this opportunity to be honest with yourself. Perhaps the mystery person will point you back into refueling your current relationship! Whatever the result, step out of judgment of yourself and your feelings and allow yourself flow in the direction of positive, life affirming relationships.

Monday, October 26, 2009

Message: Steve/heart attack

There is a gentleman who's name is Steve showing me that he had a heart attack. It feels like he was either at a sporting event or playing sports - on a field - soccer field. This message is for the "team". You thought he couldn't hear you when he was laying on the field receiving CPR, someone commented, "He's gone", he wants you to know he heard that and all the remarks of your respect for him. Steve was a leader
and lived the example of fair play in all areas of his life. He wants you to remember that you really do not ever know what is going on with someone else so don't take another persons mood personally. Strive for excellence in your word and deed.
It feels like he left 2 small children and a wife that he loved dearly. Thank you for the memorial party, he was pleased especially with the young people who spoke.

Saturday, October 17, 2009

Thoughts on Destiny

When you look back over your life, can you identify a defining moment that forever changed your destiny? You know how they say, you can miss a bus and it changes your whole life? This has been stuck in my head all week, have I missed the bus anywhere?

The older we get the more we have to reflect upon, we can now see how our choices defined our destiny. These choices aren't only from when we were young, these are the same choices we choose or do not choose today. Free will allows us to make different choices and change our course. Changing the future, one choice at a time.

What can you choose today that will offer you a more future more aligned with who you have become as opposed to who you were? Take care in making choices that affirm the you of today. The responsibility of creating your future and forming your destiny is yours alone. To blame a person, a job or a parent for your perceived lack is the seductive element of our shadow. It is a choice to perpetuate negative, self-defeating thoughts. It is imperative that the words we speak to ourselves contain the essence of that which we wish to be. Be compassionate with yourself, with your heart.

Release self-blame that choices you made when young have permanently shaped your destiny. You were doing the best you could with the information you had at the time, this is life. I encourage you to revisit one of those defining moments in your past and view it with compassion. If you choose a relationship, or did not choose a relationship and are being tortured emotionally by your choice, know that part of your choice included divine wisdom and therefore was in divine right order. Each choice is rich with possibility for growth and evolution.

The sooner we begin to accept that our guidance supports us in making our choices and decisions, the sooner we can step back into the state of faith. Believe that your life path, your destiny will always bring you back to that which you love, your job is to remain open to the possibility. Take this time to be tender, gentle and loving with yourself and your world will respond accordingly.

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Message: To Ryan

Ryan, this is a female - I think it is your mother. She is saying you are plagued with guilt. She's making reference to someone with a very high fever, an infection possibly in the chest area. It is important for you to know that she is fine. Take this time to come together with your family. This is a time to rebuild trust among you, it is a turning point in your life and she sees you taking the high road, making clear choices that dramatically change the direction of your life. She sends her love and reminds you to keep the faith, you are always safe and protected.

Thursday, October 1, 2009

How To Expand ~ 5 Easy Steps

My wish for you today is that something here will twinkle for you and plant some
star light into your consciousness for you to play with.

1. Listen to your gut. You know how it is when you get a "hunch" (which is the culturally accepted word for intuition or psychic message) and you do not listen to it? And it comes back? And you are like this little kid with your hands over your ears singing "la la la, I don't hear you!" This intuitive message may be asking you to stretch beyond your comfort zone...darn it! Why do I always have to stretch beyond my comfort zone? Because it's your comfort zone!! Wouldn't you like an even more comfortable comfort zone? One that matches who you have become not who you have been?

2. Nourish your body. Yes Mom...have the nutrients that you put into your body match the vibration you wish to emit. Here's what that looks like; packaged mac n' cheese, yummy yes, nourishing? Not so much. Big juicy apple with a wedge of cheese, yummy too!! Fresh green salad vs. anything fried? You get the picture. If the food you
ingest has been processed or cooked to death you can bet that it's original nutritional qualities have been processed or cooked out. Choose food in it's original wrapper and you will be filled with high vibration nourishment!

3. Practice what you preach, aka walk your talk. Are you the most brilliant and wise friend in your group? Awesome! Do you listen to yourself? What's that, sometimes? Occasionally? Never? Aaaagh!! Be the example of courage, accept your own great advise! It looks like this: "What's that guides and ascended masters? Oh, you're talking to me?" Notice how your friends woes mirror yours, recognize the divine placement of people in your life to affirm that you are receiving your own wisdom and it is expected that you assimilate it as such.

4. Be in the company of those who build you up, not bring you down. We all know 'em.
Folks who love to recite their list of complaints for days, weeks, sometimes years if we can stand it that long! What is it that makes it OK for us to remain in their company? What are you getting out of it? Nothing? Headache? Heartache? Frustration? If you have shown up in the best possible light that you can reflect
consider that perhaps it is simply time to move on. Clean house on the company that you keep, the conversations that you have and allow the Universe to bring in more suitable companions. It is a choice, use great care in what you expose yourself to.

5. Go outside. Most of us go outside everyday, but do we go outside to be there?
If your life consists of a computer monitor, cell phone and car (or maybe washing machine, dryer and dishwasher) do yourself a favor and step out on to Mother Earth.
Step further and further away from the mechanized and digitized vibrations you are saturated in and look to the sky, the horizon and reconnect with the nourishment of fresh air. When our world becomes small and compartmentalized our focus becomes small and contracted. Expand your horizon of thought, look to the infinite within you that says, "What if..." While you're out there, take a minute or more to find your center. Breathe in...breathe out, be you, you that is not a reflection of your job, family, or friends and try to re-mind yourself of your innate essence. Breathe in...breathe out, you are perfect exactly as you are. If what you find in your essence is imperfection, give yourself a little more time because you have tuned into
the judgment of you, not the true you. You are in there, and you are beautiful and glowing. At times we use our free will to make choices that will not reflect our glowing beauty because we are learning and practicing how to be. At times we choose
to expand our essence which is good too! Outside, with Mother Earth and Father Sky
we are held in our innocence, our goodness. Make some time today to be outside
in the elements of nature to simply be.

Thank you for reading, may you be blessed.

Sunday, September 27, 2009

Message to: Josie From: Mom

I have a woman who had severe stomach problems, possibly a tumor as the stomach
appears distended. She is saying she had 2 failed surgeries and ultimately
she was just done with trying to try anything new. She is saying that you are
concerned about your own health and the possibility of having what she had, and wants
you to know that you do have need or cause for concern. She's making me feel like
she had had some kind of illness as a child which left her stomach compromised and
it was never quite right.

She is acknowledging a gratudation or promotion, a step forward in your life. She sends you her love. She also wants me to mention the white flowers. Keep your faith
in yourself and watch for the open doors, you have good guidance.

Did this message support you?

Show your appreciation here.

Monday, September 21, 2009

Message to: Dan

This feels like a woman married to or partnered with Dan. She had a long period of
breast cancer and lived with considerable pain both physical and mental over her illness. She's showing me that she expressed anger and often spewed it out on you, she is sorry for taking you for granted. Her anger stemmed from not wanting to leave this life, she sees now the wake of pain she left by her behavior.
She sees that you are beginning to move on. She also sees the sacrifices you made
to see that she was cared for, thank you so much. "We were so in love for so many years, I made a mess of things at the end. Please forgive me and remember that great
love affair we began with." Remember Hawaii.

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

To My Family: "Sad to Leave" - From: Alma

Hello Readers,
This message came channeled by a woman who passed last Thursday, Alma Crowder. I did not know her but know members of her family. Alma passed as a result of a tragic car accident which left her sons Ryan and Jesse hospitalized from the injuries they sustained.
Beyond prayer, there are two ways we can help this family -

Thursday, 9/17/09 upstairs at The Cantina Restaurant in Santa Rosa
There will be a fund raiser to help the family cover final expenses for
Alma and uncovered medical expenses for Ryan and Jesse. The fund raiser
will begin at 8:00pm - 2:00am - $5 minimum donation appreciated
ALL proceeds will go directly to the Crowder Fund.

Second, an account has been set-up at Summit State Bank under the name
Of : Crowder Fund
While we understand this is a time of great financial need for many, my prayer is that we can come together and show this family that there is great love and support for them in this time of great loss. Please do what you can, and thank you in advance.

Here is Alma’s message, incredibly stated and meaningful for us all to hear:

I was a 42 year old woman, wife, mother, grandmother, sister, daughter, I was not ready to go. I did not want to leave but I did not know how to stay.
Years ago I began making choices that built a shaky foundation upon which I would build my life and the lives of my children. I remember making choices about partying and at first, it was just "for fun". I don't remember having fun now as I am filled with sorrow. I view the wreckage of my life, my children's lives and wonder, could I have made a different choice, at any time? Did I fail completely?
It seems like I was always looking for a way to leave whether it was with drugs or illness, it was like death was always lurking just beyond my next decision. There would be small moments when I would feel there was a chance to live in the light, beyond the addiction and self-destruction. All it would take though was one dark thought, one inkling that I wasn't worthy, one instant in which I was sure I was damaged beyond repair and that was my permission slip to return back into the seduction of drugs and drama.
I am coming through to say to my children; you are all adults, take this opportunity to view my life not as a failure but rather as an education. The way I behaved in life was to escape at every turn, to blame and fight, and I know that these are traits I will need to live again so that I can overcome their damage. Everything you do, everything you say is an opportunity to rewrite the script of your life, it is never too late.
The tragedy of my death is no more or less than the tragedy of my life. Do not carry forward regret on my behalf by living regrettable choices yourself. I am wise, and have always been so. I understand that wisdom does not always guarantee using the free will choice with the highest honor. I dishonored my physical body, I dishonored vows and sacred agreements. Know that integrity is our innate state of being, and when you choose to dishonor yourself, anyone or anything else to get what you want you have stepped off the track of wisdom. Needs fulfilled at the expense of your own honor will bring about circumstances in which you will be forced to experience dishonor on a deeper level. Wants fulfilled at the expense of anyone else will bring about a state of neediness.On the other hand, simple steps taken with clean intention will be rewarded with a path of purity to your soul. This is what is true, live clean. Be honest with yourself and know that my love is with you always while you heal and grow.
Please know that I am at peace and out of any mental, emotional and physical pain I ever had.
My sign for you is quarters, when you find them you will know I have popped in
To give you a smile.

Sunday, September 13, 2009

Message to: Randi From: Grandma Mo

Your Grandmother Mo wants to be sure you heard her clearly today and would like to reiterate HER message to you. (She told me to make "her" big letters).
Your courage is what makes you - you. She admires how you square your shoulders
and take on the world, even though it makes your throat close up. Do not stop
now, or ever being true to your inner voice of wisdom. Her love is with you always and all ways. She likes to be remembered when you see a hummingbird because of the beautiful colors. Don't lose sight of viewing beauty, it helps balance the soul.
Know that her suffering is over and she also wants to add that all suffering is temporary so hang in there.

Saturday, September 12, 2009

Learning something new everyday

Thank you to everyone who has acknowledged the Daily Messages as meaningful to their day! The validations are much appreciated since sometimes I wonder, what the heck am I talking about? My wish is that each message, or some part of it will find its way to the person who needs to hear it the most.
For the past year or so I have struggled with getting to sleep and staying asleep. I wrote it off as part of this time of life for me however, since I have begun to write relay the messages popping into my head I have slept like a baby! The 2 nights that I did not write I found myself restless and unable to fall into a peaceful state of sleep. Last night was one such night. I was awake until about 3:00am listening to the loud rumble of thunder and beautiful bright flashes of lightening!
It occurred to me that all of this electromagnetic energy must be a perfect conduit for the spirit world to connect!
As I lay there waiting for sleep to capture me and take me away I had a sense of overall warmth and appreciation for first, having the ability to translate the information that comes through so randomly and second, to all of you that take the time to see if there is some gift for you in the Daily Message. Thank you so much!
So, I continue to learn that the energy that keeps us awake may not all be from what is going on in our daily lives, or maybe it is! Staying in the flow of the current of our own vibration will always feel better than not. Flow feels like floating, resistance feels like effort.
Go with the flow baby!

Thursday, September 10, 2009

Message to: Pam & Charlie From: Dad/Paul

Paul is coming through showing me a long protracted illness with lung cancer. He's saying it took so long in part because he didn't want to leave the family. It feels as though someone was having the first grandchild - he stuck around just long enough to see it. He wants you to know that the pain he felt is all gone - he is with Grandma (his mom) and his brother who passed suddenly from an impact, possibly a car accident. It seems as though the 3 of them passed fairly close together, within a 3 year period. He is acknowledging the family feeling like it had gone through a war
with such tragedy and grief but shows me now that everyone is coming out of it and beginning to move on. Pam - trust yourself with your kids. He's saying you look to him still for comfort, please know his love is eternal. Charlie - be gentle with yourself, you don't have to work so much to prove your worth. Take time to enjoy your friends and family, they want to be with you. Thank you for the love and care during the end of his life, and thank you for the great party, he loved the music. Please know that he loves you all.
To my readers: As always, if this message feels as though it is for someone you know,
please do pass it on so that we can keep the flow of healing and love going. Thank you for reading.

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Message From: Ted - To: Cori & family

I feel the need to describe Ted as a very playful spirit, he was known for many years of practical jokes. He wants to make it clear that he did not play practical jokes that made anyone look stupid, he did not think it was funny to make someone look stupid, it was more like he loved to make people laugh - even to the point of using his own body to be hysterically funny. He's showing me Dick Van Dyke, how he moved like a rubber band tripping and falling only to spring back up.
Ted passed unexpectedly, heart attack. He's showing me a golf course, it feels like he was either playing golf, or had just finished playing golf and he was with 2 other men at the time.
He was a non-believer in life and is finding great joy in communicating with his family. Cori, you receive him well. He wants you to know that when you feel his messages they are true, don't second guess. He shows me a son playing football and a daughter who I believe was named after a grandmother. The daughter is the younger child. She will pass through this rebellious stage, be patient she's learning about her strength. He wants you to know Cori that you will love again and that he is happy to know you will know great happiness again in this lifetime. He sends his love to you all, please know that he is fine and continues to learn and grow where he is.

Saturday, September 5, 2009

Message to: Michelle from: Papa

"Papa" is showing me the color purple, vibrant and rich, jewel tone purple. He's saying the wedding was beautiful. It feels like you were wearing or carrying a ring that belonged to him. Papa was involved in flying, not a commercial pilot, a private one and it feels as though he passed as a result of an airplane accident. He says that his instruments failed and he would not guide himself through the storm. It happened very quickly and there was no pain. There may have been a period of up to 3 days where he could not be located and this caused the family great pain and sadness
worrying that he was suffering. Papa was a deeply loved and respected man. He wants you to know that it was his honor to be son, father, brother, uncle and grandfather, he embraced his family in an unusually close way and seemed to know everyone so well.
He sends his love and thanks you Michelle for keeping his memory alive.

Thursday, September 3, 2009

Message to: Roger from Jean (or Gene)

Jean/Gene had a "bad heart" and a stroke. I am not sure if Jean was male or female.
Jean was in a state of limbo after the stroke, coma.
"I hold our memories as do you, and many more. No regrets please, they put considerable space between us and I cannot get through to you. Thank you
for releasing me, for honoring my wishes not to remain on life support. It
is beautiful here, thank you for the prayers they feel like champagne bubbles."

If this message resonates with you I am pleased that you have located it. If it
feels familiar for anyone you know, please pass it on. This message came through
so clearly, actually woke me up last night, I hope it can be delivered. Thank
you for your help in getting the word out.


Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Message from John to Amy

I see a young man, his name is John, he passed suddenly, he was a soldier.
He passed very quickly and for a while didn't know what happened until his paternal grandfather brought him "home". He was newly engaged prior to leaving for Iraq and he's showing me the ring. This message is for his fiance Amy, he wants you to know that his love is with you always. You will not be alone forever and will meet a really great guy in October, you have his blessing to move on. He is also showing me your dog and making me feel the great joy the dog brings to you. It is ok to be happy.

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Message to: Kirsten from Dad

Dad, who's name is Bill is coming through talking some kind of surgery to the stomach - he's showing me a pouch being removed so I don't know if this is a tummy tuck or something more serious. The intent of the surgery is to make the stomach smaller, to lose weight.
He wants you to know that surgery is just part of the lesson, the other more important part is that you must now allow people to be near you - when the weight is gone, people will be closer to you, literally. Allow people to help you during your surgery because this is the first step in acknowledging your value. He is saying that he lived his life disconnected from his heart, he understands that you learned by watching him. He passed from a heart attack, quickly. He has great love for you, your mother and your brother. Do not be afraid of people, they are here to support you. He's showing me a white rose.

Monday, August 31, 2009

Are we really stuck?

What is the lesson in being stuck; in a relationship, a job, a mindset? Is it really impossible to move on? Are we really stuck? Many are experiencing this lesson in contrast. Are you feeling done with the relationship, job, dis-empowering thought?

As in all of life, we may choose to keep our focus tuned into the knowledge that we possess the divine power of free will choice. We can, at any moment decide that we are stuck or understand that perhaps we are in the process of learning from our current situation and it is serving our soul development.

To be stuck feels like being a victim. The victim feels powerless to make any change or choice. The victim is at the mercy of "them" and what "they" say, do, don't do, etc. The universal turnings in place now are nudging us to use our power of free will to take the high road. To view all obstacles for what they truly are - a fork in the road in where you can choose which vibration you wish to resonate with.

Four months ago I had a total hip replacement which gave me freedom from chronic pain
for the first time in years. The liberation and joy I experienced post surgery was
unbelievable! My confidence in my mobility soared as I returned to the gym a month after the surgery and began to grow stronger and more sure of my body's ability to become strong and stronger. Wow, prior to surgery, I could not conceive what this
freedom would look or feel like. The choice to have surgery or not was a fork in my road.

While on vacation we were hiking beside a beautiful mountain stream with amazing tumbled obsidian pieces in it. As I explored the treasures beside the creek bed I fell down - hard. I fell down exactly onto my surgery site! Darn it! The following 24 hours found me in my own pity pot feeling as though all was lost and I had no choice now but to go back to being dis-abled, a victim to my pain. Wait, is that really true? Or is that my perception? Was I being given a great and grand opportunity to view the contrast of freedom vs. disability? Hummm...

Both at the moment of my original hip injury, and this fall, I was experiencing great joy and happiness, what had I wired into my consciousness that said "Too much fun...not allowed!" Still don't know the answer to that but what I do know is this: The moment in which I realized that I could choose to re-experience limitation or freedom was the moment of ultimate freedom. My heart hollered - no way, not going back! Did my pain from the fall disappear - not immediately. What did occur was my confidence returned, my faith that the pain is an energy message from my spirit to my brain urging me to make a choice. Given the contrast, what would I choose to live?
In making these choices at the forks in the road, if we choose the path with the unfamiliar vibration we open ourselves to the realm of all possibility. This is
where our power lies. This is where we observe the depth of our faith.

If you are at the fork in the road, there will be one option that will be familiar and known and another may scare you. It is an opportunity to choose, to continue to live oppressed by a perception that you are stuck, or to step boldly into a new lane of fresh life experiences. It is for you to choose, you possess the divine power of free will choice, in every moment, or every decision, thought, action, dream...every everything. Choose that which lightens your heart and inspires that little voice inside that remembers, we are here to experience contrast and joy, contrast and joy. The contrast is not punishment, it is the classroom for soul learning. Joy is the eternal state of our soul self.

Tuesday, June 30, 2009


Change is in the air and vibrating down through to our core. As we continue down life's road we confront situations and lessons that provide great challenge and discomfort. It has been apparent that collectively we are all making big decisions. These choices may appear small however, the shifts we are making will transform the manner in which we conduct ourselves in relationship for all time.
Many of you are choosing freedom of choice, speech and expression - sound familiar? I believe that we are progressing down a path in which each of us choose to be fully expressed without censorship. We are changing the rules of our lives and in turn changing the rules of our relationships. All of this shifting may have some feeling left behind, confused or excluded. We owe it to ourselves to compassionately explain our shifts when desirable and release any and all need to defend them. A single powerful sign of growth, change and empowerment is to release the need to defend yourself - to anyone. The truth you are living is intimate.
There will be people and situations you leave behind, those that do not support or enhance your growth, this is nature. Forever is left only to the spirit. When we notice that relationships we had marked as "permanent" and "forever" are coming to an end, we can know that this is all part of the process of evolution. There truly is no need to point fingers of blame about why things have grown apart, it is simply a part of living, it is healthy to shed.
Whatever space becomes available as a result of those changes may now be filled with experiences that are a vibrational match to you.
As always, listen to your intuition and allow yourself to be divinely guided to and from the situations in life that do not support your feeling of abundant well being.
If anywhere along this path I may be of service to you, please do contact me.

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Breaking Illusion, the painful trip back to reality

Have you ever been in a relationship, long term or otherwise and you come to the day when you realize that that person you have connected to is not who you believed them to be? Perhaps you held this person in high esteem, believed them to be of impeccable integrity only to find out that in these characteristics were the illusion?

I have been recognizing betrayal lately as a theme among clients. I believe in addition to betrayal we are discovering the breaking of illusion. It is occurring from the highest levels of government and big business all the way down to us, the individuals. I believe that what occurs globally is the outward expression of that which we are being called to work on individually. We have been oppressed by a group that hold themselves separate and above the majority yet, if we were to take our own inventory we may find that we have allowed ourselves the same leeway that large corporations have. A little white lie here or there, who’s going to know? The Universe does indeed know. We may choose to turn a blind eye to behaviors our people close to us may engage in, behavior that is less than honorable, but in that same moment, we are lending our energy to the support of that behavior. A stretch you say? Until we choose to show our backbone as individuals, we may expect business as usual. It is neither comfortable nor desirable to have to call a friend or family member on their “stuff”. Neither is it acceptable to continue status quo.

What I refer to in calling someone on their “stuff” is not to the open door to judge their behavior, more exactly, it is to judge your behavior. Is it in alignment for you to participate in a relationship where you have witnessed the breaking of your illusion? Can you remain connected to this person in spite of the new light that has shone on them?

This is a big time of divorcing ourselves from behavior that does not support who we are today. Perhaps the relationship fit in the past and now you have grown in two directions, it happens. I urge you to use maturity and compassion as you walk through the divorces of your life. They come not only in marriage but in friendship and employment as well. Be honest with yourself. Did you let things slide in the past that you can no longer allow? Ultimately it is about you, not the other person.

As anger arises over your feeling of betrayal over who that person truly is, you owe it to yourself to look at where you allowed the first instance of your boundaries to blur. It is about you. It is about keeping your “house” clean.
Every choice matters. Choose carefully which missions you send your energy out to support and accept personal responsibility for the results which you are then “married” to. The energetic missions are akin to a vow, that which we commit ourselves to we are a part of. In the acceptance of your part of the break in illusion, you accept responsibility for releasing the past and reaffirming where you are most happy to commit your energetic ties.

We are all a work in progress learning in our own individual way. The pain of ending relationships could be somewhat softened when we accept that the next time we are tempted to blur our boundaries, or allow a relationship in that is not a good match, we have the power to say “no” to compromising our values and move on.

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Happy June

Greetings friends and happy June to you! As I write the sun is peeking through my window and outside drying the rain that fell this morning - what? It's June right? The promise of warmth and sunshine prompts me to share a message of optimism and hope for our summer season.

Has your world produced evidence for you that says things are looking up? Could be something major like a new job? New relationship? Old relationship feeling new again? Been set free from an unhealthy relationship? Have you noticed tiny little thoughts of hope? Acknowledgement of your worth through community support? What is it for you?

Is the new vibration elusive to you? That's ok too! Our life is the result of our thoughts. Do your thoughts allow space for change? For shift and flow? Or do your thoughts repeat the "it is hard" message? As you affirm consciously and subconsciously that any process of life is "hard" we surrender our power. We have mastered the ability to talk ourselves out of growth and into being hard, we can, with the same repetitive effort talk ourselves into ease and grace!

Here's a little practice picked up along my path; anytime the message you experience is "hard", release that message and all it's baggage into a beautiful pink balloon and let it go. Repeat as necessary! That may be once, or it may be a hundred times repeated! It is worth the effort. We didn't consciously realize we were convincing ourselves to believe life is hard, but we can consciously create thoughts that say life can flow. The pink represents love, and the release represents surrender to all that is. Trust that this practice can create a new opening for a new, higher and more comfortable vibration to take root within your being.

Sending you a big started bouquet of pink balloons for your new feelings of life and light to bloom.

May you blessed to receive the light and love that lingers near you always!

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Mortality vs. Faith

Have you ever had surgery? You know, you go into the doc and they casually tell you
you need surgery and it will all be great! So you're swept up in the awesome
wave of - this is going to make EVERYTHING ALL BETTER! And you float away on the dreamy little cloud to go home and make arrangements for all things to be cared for
during your recovery.
Then it happens...a little voice in the back of your head says; "What if I don't wake up?" I hope this does not or has not happened to you but it did for me, big time.
Each time that little voice of fear (that was really not so little) reared it's ugly head I focused on what I will be able to do with my new hip - hiking, playing at the beach, rock hunting, wearing pretty girl shoes, the list goes on and on. I knew the
mechanism I needed in place to help me get through all this negativity was to focus
on what I wanted and that I did.
The voice was persistent. I found myself examining my children's and husbands
world without me. I was thankful that we had recently gotten a life insurance policy on me, at least he could pay off our debt but what about my babies and my husband? How would my mother cope? I want to see my grand babies darn it! I want to see my sons mature into the incredible men that I know they are becoming! I need to see my daughter mature into the powerhouse of a woman I am positive she will be! As for my husband, I am not ready to let go of the depth and maturity our marriage has been blessed with in the recent years...still the voice persisted.
After about 5 weeks of this mental torture I sat down at the computer and wrote my husband a letter, it was my "If I don't wake up letter". As I wrote my wishes the image of me laying in a recovery room at the hospital became clearer and clearer though I still had my doubts. Writing the letter, saying goodbye without saying goodbye was incredibly sad. I sobbed uncontrollably. Strangely when I felt I had said all that I needed to say I felt that sense you get when depression has just left, I felt sunshine inside my mind and lightness inside my heart. I saved and closed the file and walked away knowing that this was all that I could do and it was
The week before surgery I was sitting in the steam room at the gym and had a visit from a woman who has passed away about 7 years ago, her name is Micah. I asked her if I was going to die during the surgery and she very casually said, "No, your clock is still running." Then she showed me that on the top of my head a clock was running,
like the one on Alice in Wonderland that has both hands spinning round and round. Oh, OK, my clock is still running then.
Being a spiritual and faithful woman, experiencing this plane of fear rattled my faith - for a minute, OK, a month! Now that I am on this side of the surgery and very much still "here", I know and trust that the exercise I went through to get to the surgery will be a lesson that will be useful somewhere down the road. Now, I'm going to delete my letter.
Have a wonderful day!

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

It's all about receiving

My very first psychic mentor, Pam, was perhaps one of the biggest gifts I have received in this lifetime. At the time she fell into my life I was terribly unhappy and struggling to make my marriage work. By struggling I mean that I was spinning my wheels as quickly as I could and still feeling as though I needed to do more.
It felt as though no matter how clean the house was, how well I cared for the kids,
how thin I was, how cheerful I was, nothing was good enough. Whether this was literally true or not, this was how I felt.
I learned so much from Pam that still, 15 years later I find myself remembering specific moments with her where I reached such clarity and truth that I knew
there would be no turning back. The moment I made the committment to learn as much as I could from this generous and wise friend all the rules changed.
As it is with your favorite or most influential teacher there are key phrases that will ring through your consciousness 'til the end of time. One of Pam's frequent
and enduring truths was this: "It's all about receiving".
To be honest, in the beginning I didn't know exactly what she meant however over the years of our friendship it became alarmingly and sharply clear that that which we identify as a problem stems from our ability or inability or willingness or unwillingness to receive.
Last year I saw client after client brace up to make strong choices to leave abusive relationships whether it was a marriage, friendship or job, it seemed to be the overriding theme for 2008. It was incredible to be a part of the process and amazing
to witness the blossoming which can only occur when one is set free from the bondage
of abuse. Many people are unaware that they are in an abusive relationship, as I was myself.
As clear as it appears to friends and family that we are being mistreated, the recipient of abuse cannot see the forest for the trees. Abuse clouds and torques
our perception of who we are and what we "deserve". We pray for a "good" day, or a "pleasant meal" in which there will be no criticism, or profanity and like a starving child take the scraps of the few good moments that come our way. In the end, unless a beam of light energy makes its way into our consciousness, we feel powerless to change our situation.
The angels are delivered but do we receive them? The angels to free us, to give us wings arrive sometimes unnoticed. Do we refuse their love and support? Or is it simply so unbelievable that help has come our way we have no concept on how to receive
or let them in?
Have you ever received a compliment only to reject the gift by arguing with the giver?
"No, I haven't lost any weight,I am not pretty, not, not, not..." Who's eyes were you viewing yourself through? We owe it to ourselves to begin on a very basic level to receive. My Mom always told me to "Just say thank you honey." when I was given a compliment. Our inner evolution shows up to the world vibrationally prior to us knowing we have grown!
We respond to one another vibrationally which means, if your vibration has shifted
and someone notices it, that is a huge validation to you! Receive it! Let it in!
It means that the work you have been doing whether outwardly seeking counsel, being
in silent prayer or any other method of healing is working!
The Law of Attraction says, "What we think about, we bring about." If your thoughts
have been on improving your life and someone compliments (notices your shift) that keeps the ball rolling! If you refuse the gift you have just taken two steps backwards. Hummm, let's see, what feels better?
Culturally we have been trained to be modest. Yes, times are changing and
our daughters will have an easier time with this than we do! In the mean time,
consider that your life to this point has been a series of lessons. Some of them we "get" and some we "get to repeat"! What's the difference? The difference lies
in our willingness to receive the lesson, to receive the growth and to accept responsibility for it all! It takes practice my friends, and we may well practice
until we are complete on this planet. I encourage you, today, to receive -
even the smallest validation whether it is external or intuitive, that you are indeed
loved beyond measure and greater than you have ever let yourself believe. I believe in you, your greatness and I believe in love. Love to you today and all days.

Monday, March 2, 2009

Mom knows best.

Growing up I had only a vague awareness of the depth of my mothers wisdom. She spoke in a language that was completely different than that of my friends moms. In witnessing interactions with my friends and their parents I have distinct memories of blame, shame and guilt. Many times I can recall knowing that my friends were being trapped by their parents in some not so clever and not so disguised word play. It was one of the shortcomings of being a psychic child - I didn't really know why I knew that their communications were twisted, I just did. I did not spend as much time at my friends homes as they did at mine, my mom offered home made wonderful food, space and unconditional love and the kids could feel the difference.

In my pre-teen years my mom was meditating, going to a psychic meditation monthly with a woman who was just breaking on to the scene, Betty Bethards - many of you know she eventually made a name for herself. I thank Betty for the teaching she gave my mom, and for opening a door that would be the one I would step through much later in life.

Mom read constantly. When she wasn't studying for her college classes, (she worked her way through junior college and Cal Berkeley while raising 3 kids) she was reading Edgar Cayce and the like. To say she was progressive is an understatement though I did not know then.

Mixed with all her maternal goodness were many new age truths that were in the early 1970's just beginning to emerge. The pearls of wisdom my mother bestowed on me are many - I spread them liberally.

Nearly 40 years before the release of "The Secret" my mom told me that "You create your reality by the beliefs you hold in consciousness." Huh - I for sure didn't get it back then though it is a gem today isn't it? What you think about, you bring about. Simple. Ok, then if it's so simple how do I get from here, to over there where I'm sure things are waaaay better?

One of the pearls of my mothers wisdom said this; "The person who knows better has to do and be better." What did this mean? As many young women my generation we still believed we were going to get married and be "taken care of". This belief of course led to many disappointments.

Why in my love relationships, did I have to be the teacher? The leader? Why did I experience grief by losing my father before all my friends? Why did I experience abuse first hand? Why in heavens name did I slip to the depths of hell? Now I know that I was becoming the person who knew "better". It was by going through these life situations that I learned a great deal, and incorporated moms wisdom into the work I do today.

Each difficult and challenging situation holds a pearl, a dose of wisdom medicine intended to deliver us from here to there, which of course becomes the new here!
Take heart when you have just conquered a tough lesson only to meet up with a new one, it simply means it is time for your next dose of wisdom medicine! We are being called upon individually and collectively to be "better", to muster the courage, to accept responsibility for being the change we wish to see in the world. The journey is much scarier when we attempt to side-step our path and wait for someone else to make the difference. It is never, ever about what someone else is doing or not doing, it is always about you. All the power of change exists within you and if you are reading this email, I know that you have already stepped onto the path of empowerment and growth.

May you be blessed today and all days to receive your loving dose of wisdom, compassion and mercy. Welcome to the reality of being, doing and feeling better.