Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Breaking Illusion, the painful trip back to reality

Have you ever been in a relationship, long term or otherwise and you come to the day when you realize that that person you have connected to is not who you believed them to be? Perhaps you held this person in high esteem, believed them to be of impeccable integrity only to find out that in these characteristics were the illusion?

I have been recognizing betrayal lately as a theme among clients. I believe in addition to betrayal we are discovering the breaking of illusion. It is occurring from the highest levels of government and big business all the way down to us, the individuals. I believe that what occurs globally is the outward expression of that which we are being called to work on individually. We have been oppressed by a group that hold themselves separate and above the majority yet, if we were to take our own inventory we may find that we have allowed ourselves the same leeway that large corporations have. A little white lie here or there, who’s going to know? The Universe does indeed know. We may choose to turn a blind eye to behaviors our people close to us may engage in, behavior that is less than honorable, but in that same moment, we are lending our energy to the support of that behavior. A stretch you say? Until we choose to show our backbone as individuals, we may expect business as usual. It is neither comfortable nor desirable to have to call a friend or family member on their “stuff”. Neither is it acceptable to continue status quo.

What I refer to in calling someone on their “stuff” is not to the open door to judge their behavior, more exactly, it is to judge your behavior. Is it in alignment for you to participate in a relationship where you have witnessed the breaking of your illusion? Can you remain connected to this person in spite of the new light that has shone on them?

This is a big time of divorcing ourselves from behavior that does not support who we are today. Perhaps the relationship fit in the past and now you have grown in two directions, it happens. I urge you to use maturity and compassion as you walk through the divorces of your life. They come not only in marriage but in friendship and employment as well. Be honest with yourself. Did you let things slide in the past that you can no longer allow? Ultimately it is about you, not the other person.

As anger arises over your feeling of betrayal over who that person truly is, you owe it to yourself to look at where you allowed the first instance of your boundaries to blur. It is about you. It is about keeping your “house” clean.
Every choice matters. Choose carefully which missions you send your energy out to support and accept personal responsibility for the results which you are then “married” to. The energetic missions are akin to a vow, that which we commit ourselves to we are a part of. In the acceptance of your part of the break in illusion, you accept responsibility for releasing the past and reaffirming where you are most happy to commit your energetic ties.

We are all a work in progress learning in our own individual way. The pain of ending relationships could be somewhat softened when we accept that the next time we are tempted to blur our boundaries, or allow a relationship in that is not a good match, we have the power to say “no” to compromising our values and move on.

1 comment:

  1. Wonderful Julie. I agree. Always good to re-evaluate honestly. Difficult, but important. Thank you for all of your support as I do this on my journey as well.