Saturday, November 28, 2009

My coffee buddy Wendy

Last Monday I met my friend Wendy for coffee, much like we have been doing a couple of times a week for the last several weeks.

When I arrived I didn't even notice her sitting in her car a few cars over from me so I started to walk in. When I finally saw her she was trying to get out of her car though something wasn't quite right. She seemed flustered, like she couldn't pick up her purse, or get her jacket on or something. When she finally got out of the car she was distinctly not herself. I asked her if she was OK and she said "No, I'm really not. I've had this headache for the last 2 or 3 days, right here." She pointed to two specific spots on her head, one at the lower right in the back and one a couple of inches higher and toward the front. Her complexion was slightly ashen but her usual good spirit seemed to belie anything serious being wrong. She took a handful of Advil and by the time we parted company she seemed to be only slightly better.

Nine hours later I received a phone call from her sister explaining that Wendy had been down in Alameda having dinner with a friend and suffered what seemed to be a stroke though we have since learned it was an aneurysm. Tuesday morning surgery was performed to provide a drain for the blood in her brain, Wednesday surgery was performed to repair the aneurysm. Forgive me if this is incorrectly stated - this is just what I understood to be happening.

Wednesday afternoon Wendy was responsive, seemed to recognize auditory who was with her and acknowledged our presence. Since then, she has been mostly unresponsive.
Today she has a high fever. There is fear, worry, shock and sadness swirling around our hearts and minds, wrapped up in prayer.

Life can change in a heartbeat. Over the past several days I have been checking and rechecking my thoughts and interactions with important people in my life. Thankful I had given Wendy a hug upon parting - and too, it's not just the interactions with those close to us, it is the manner in which we interact with the world. The generosity with which we share our kindness matters, to everyone.

Thank you for all those who have asked and continue to ask about Wendy and her well being. Thank you for the generosity of your prayers for Wendy and her children Ryan and Anni. Wendy continues to be strong as that is her spirit. I believe the destiny of her soul is unknowable to us, however I hold faith that her destiny includes miracles and total healing and recovery. I believe in you Wendy and I love you my friend.

Thursday, November 19, 2009

Riding the waves of transition

Does this sound familiar? When "xyz happens everything will be alright." Or, "when I get a job, quit a job, get married, get divorced..."the list goes on - and on doesn't it? What's a person to do? We all suffer and lament our lives equally.

I am no stranger to transition, in fact deal with it daily personally and professionally, I wanted to take a minute to acknowledge exactly what's going on during these period of great discomfort.

Somewhere along the line we made a request to God, the Universe, Gaia, fill in the blank. It may have sounded something like this "Dear God, please deliver me from this place of sadness and great despair to a place of happiness and joy. Thank you, amen." We quite possibly have uttered the prayer/request a million times over and over in our heads throughout our days.

Then from out of the blue (yeah right) we discover that marriage is fractured, we lose our job, end an unhealthy relationship and we act all surprised! Like, why is THIS happening? We accept this new information as a validation that life stinks
but WAIT! Isn't it possible that this new information has created the opening for you to be delivered from your place of sadness and great despair? To step up and out of the compost of life, gives us the nourishment we need,the opportunity we requested, to shift and grow!

Practice viewing challenge as opportunity. Consider accepting that you asked for this information to somehow support you in making the decision that will change your circumstances. Accept responsibility for where you are and then accept responsibility for changing where you are. Personal responsibility is ultimate freedom. In our acceptance of our life, as it is, we create space for empowerment to create a higher vibrational existence.

When your next transition begins to stir the pot of your life remember - somewhere you asked for this!

Keep the faith that this situation is not all for nothing. Have faith that this lesson is all for something amazing to transform you and your life.

Sunday, November 8, 2009

Now that I hit the wall, what do I do?

Life brings opportunity for growth in the strangest way. Have you ever ventured to share your truth with the person closest to you, hoping to create an opening for productive conversation only to get smacked in the face with your significant others truth? And horror of horrors, it completely contradicts yours?

Is it possible to be in a long term relationship and really, really not know how your partner feels about you? Apparently, yes it is. This realization creates confusion,
disillusion and that opening you were seeking - but it looks WAY different than you expected doesn't it? I mean, here you're trying to have a heart to heart and what you get back is something more like a litany of everything that is wrong with YOU!

Wow, so you mean that your partner had been holding all these truths within themselves for all these years? Truths that say you are maybe a liar, or maybe manipulative? It boggles the mind to understand one another. We cannot then call our significant other a liar in return can we? After all, it is their truth and as real to them as ours are to us. This is where the question comes up then, now that I hit the wall, what do I do?

If what has been revealed is workable, and the wall can come down of course you owe it to yourselves to honor your history together and give that communication game another try. If what has been revealed dismantles the very foundation of what you believed you built your relationship on then it is time to pause and consider what is in the best interest for all concerned. As I said in my last post, "What are you doing in that relationship?" You may choose to take an evolved stance and understand that perhaps this union has reached the highest level of maturity and it is time to move on. Whatever you choose, take each step with dignity. Trust and know that whatever happens, this new opening brings the opportunity for expansion and greater love for all.