Monday, March 28, 2011

Can I talk to you for a minute?

What if we took a second - that's all it will take - to remind the person next to you, or text to that they are loved beyond measure. Period. No qualifiers, no reasons, no guilt. Just an unsolicited reminder that simply by being there, by living and breathing, by being who their are - they are loved.

At 50 years old, I am blessed by someone who loves me in this way. The pressure to work hard, to be skinny, perfect, cheerful, strong, fragile, kind patient...that pressure is gone. Bye bye.

The energy previously spent on receiving qualified and quantified approval/love still spins and swirls! I have not mastered the talent to simply be and feel safe and secure in the love. I struggle to sit and allow myself to be served. I jump up and try to work really hard and really fast so that he will know how much I love him. Wait! What did I say?
That doesn't even make sense!

Why do I have to work hard and fast to prove my love? We know, it's because my value in the past was equal to the amount of work I produced. Mountains of laundry, miles of vacuuming, tons of food preparation...Sad when I see how little I thought of myself. No one forced me to do these things, there was no gun to my head. I held a misguided belief that without all of my efforts I was not going to be loved.

Trust me, this did not come from a difficult childhood. I was not mistreated or unloved, this is a part of the package I incarnated with. I came to learn that I am lovable simply by being, simply by existing.

I believe in miracles. I believe we all can have and receive and believe in this miracle of love. You are loved beyond measure, believe it.

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