Here we are, half way 2011, how is your year so far? In spite of a series of difficult years with unbelievable twists and turns, I continue to greet each year with optimism. I know this year will be better because, well, it has to! First we lost our jobs and our savings, then our homes then our good credit ratings - gone! Now peeled down to the basic necessities of life, time with our family, our people, became the treasure we lost financially. Vacations have become stay-cations and we spent more time with people closest to us however, there is the old saying, "familiarity breeds contempt", and that it has. Too much time together seems to magnify everything that bothers us about the other.
What happened then? Suffering financial instability brought up core fears. We question our ability to survive, we feel socially vulnerable at suffering such material loss. Our pain and humiliation mutates and spews out at others in the form of judgment. Does fear produce judgment or does judgment produce fear?
Today's issues are of the heart. Time to work on the really juicy stuff - judgment and criticism! Isn't it fun? Of course it isn't. My heart was broken when I learned that someone close and trusted was judging me in private and acting loving to my face. Is that because it's just easier than being honest? I think so. This must be a beautiful opportunity to be judged and feel such sadness.
The truth is, this sadness is a beautiful opportunity. It is perfect because in the second half of my life, I have a renewed commitment to be that change I wish to see in the world. My pain from judgment is likely the same as yours. Judgment I hold is not different than judgment held on me. It is time to make choices, on purpose and out loud. Time to make righteous choices about the purity of the vibration I am sending and harboring.
One of the great teachers of our time, Caroline Myss describes judgment as the most harmful vibration, something like a curse. How does it feel when you have passed judgment? At first powerful, immediately followed by justification all wrapped up in denial. We’re just calling it like we see it, it is the truth after all. I’m not judging, I’m just being honest, and you know, if you can’t take a little constructive criticism…on and on and on.
Judgment not only hurts the one being judged, it hurts us to hold it. When we embody judgment what it says is...I am so afraid that someone might see through me that I must deflect my sense lack toward someone else. The best defense is a good offense right? Not in life, not in relationships. Choosing to hold judgment takes a toll on us physically, emotionally and spiritually. We must be impeccable in our thoughts and words and we must do it on purpose. Whatever judgment we hold will be held in our bodies and souls leaving a wake of broken relationships and soiled communications.
Join me in staring down the coward inside that wants it to be about everyone else. It is time to reunite with the hero of your heart that wants nothing more than unconditional love. Let's do it, it's time. Be the hero of your heart.