Friday, November 4, 2016

I Get It Now

I get it now; I am a leader. It is up to me to present the light, and the sun and most especially the hope. It is up to me to listen and respond thoughtfully and with great care. It is my responsibility to live within boundaries that acknowledge my sensitivity so as not to become overwrought with the great pain in the world.

I get it now; darkness is always followed by light – except when it’s not. Darkness is not altered when illness, addiction or abuse remain. Darkness is not followed by light when the belief is one of pessimism and powerlessness.

 I get it now; we take turns being the brain and the heart because we’re built for both. We think and problem solve, invent and create! We’re amazing! We feel for one another and our love is a fierce cloak of protection for our beloveds.

 I get it now; I am not defined by my depression but rather by my emergence back to light. I am defined by my willingness to shine and shadow. I am defined by accepting that my dark periods are designed to give me another opportunity to build that muscle and belief that everything is temporary, the darkness and the light; the joy and the sorrow.

 I pledge to the tender spot inside, that I will always seek light, love and hope. I will take the tough steps through resistance and through proof that things are bad to the porthole of light that shines through the love of my family, friends and healing community. I get it now.

Saturday, October 8, 2016

The Journey of Divorce Through the 7 Main Chakras

Let it all go, let go of the past, the person, the dreams the pain. Let go of the house, the car and the stuff. Let it all go. When a client is at the early stage of divorce they are most concerned with losing their home and things. The process of divorce winds its way up through our 7 main chakras.

 The 1st chakra – do I have shelter. If I leave my home I have nothing. I can’t move my children from their home; it’s not fair to put them through all of this. It’s in this stage that we haven’t accepted the reality home that living unhappily in our marriage is what’s really not fair to the children. We are focused on the basic need of food and shelter as being what is most needed by the soul.

 The 2nd chakra adds aesthetics to the first chakra including creativity and nurture. Second chakra divorce process looks at losing the comfort. The nurturing quality of being surrounded by all that you’ve known and created. We fear giving up our home, the outward representation of who we are, equals giving up our identity and our social standing. But when we’ve gotten here, we’re starting to realize that maybe the structure of the home isn’t really worth the pain we feel at walking away from our unhappiness.

 The 3rd chakra is our center of personal will. A pivotal point in the decision making process. Once we reach this chakra we know that we must leave and may struggle with the perceived loss of power. Divorce feels like a failure – no matter how hard we have tried to make our marriage work. We know that the difficulties we’ve been experiencing in our digestive process speak loudly to our inability or unwillingness to digest where our life has gotten to. My experience is that the third chakra is where the decision is made and courage is mustered to take the process forward.

 The 4th chakra, the heart – When we’ve reached this point we’ve accepted where we are. The tears flow and flow. The struggle between what we always believed was right – to stay for the children or to honor our desire to be cherished and loved flails back and forth. Physical chest pain is not uncommon as we reach the truth of our hearts desire – freedom from abuse, loneliness or sadness.

 The 5th chakra is about communication. It’s about our ability and willingness to speak and hear the truth. When arriving here it’s more about our willingness to hear the truth of our spirit and having the confidence to speak our truth. This is the point of making it real by admitting that you are done in the relationship both to yourself and your partner. It’s claiming your path.

 The 6th chakra is the chakra of the mind. This is where we map out our lives and future. By the time we have processed the idea of divorce to the 6th chakra we are filing papers and making the necessary plans to separate and start a new life. When the paperwork has been processed we are then clear to plan our future – and what we want it to look like.

 The 7th chakra, is where we connect to spirit. When we’ve processed to this point we are releasing our destiny to the Divine. We say, I trust that I will be provided for. This action is divinely guided. We receive validations as the doors of life spontaneously and magically fly open showing us what we have just created by claiming our freedom. From here we may begin our process up from first to seventh chakra again as we learn how to live our new life. The cycle of birth, death and rebirth is ongoing and none of it is a failure. It is all a part of our divine and perfect path, and we are never alone. Never.

 By sharing this with you, I pray that you can see that you have done really well progressing through your life. Whether it’s divorce or job change or anything else that is of substantial importance in your personal healing, we follow a divine cycle of evolution. Trust your perfect path.

Tuesday, July 12, 2016

Last night this message came through for a dear friend that is having a really tough time. I think maybe it is a message for all of us. In the face of unconscionable violence and hatred, ground zero must always be in our hearts. I hope these words will resonate for you.
Much love, Julie xox
"Please remember that you are a child of God, no more or less than anyone. Your presence here on earth was planned. You were never intended to suffer endlessly. We do come here to learn... to accept ourselves as we are and work our way through tough times - that is the goal of a spirit in a body. We are all equal until we allow ourselves to be brought down by a lesser or lower vibration. Rise above those that would have you react from a station lower than the place you live. You have wisdom and depth. You are silly and playful. You have a heart of gold. (this next part may not be true for you..) You have a temper that is a result of your childhood - when you didn't have a voice to make things change or be better. You have that voice now. Those who antagonize you are a test to see if you will respond from your authentic self or your historical self. I believe in you. I believe in the goodness and greatness of your soul. Never, ever forget who you came here to be."

Tuesday, July 5, 2016

Spiritual Practice...easier than you think.

Many times I ask clients if they have a spiritual practice, most often they think I am asking if they go to church or believe in God. Neither. My experience has shown me that those who attend church and believe in God are not necessarily spiritual. What do I mean by spiritual then? What I'm looking for is any part of a person that surrenders to a higher power. I am also enquiring to know if perceive the value of taking time to connect with the divine.

The divine they connect to could be God, the Universe, get the idea. Some do not have a name for their higher power they simply know that they are connected and are generally happy to relay stories that affirm the blessings their faith has delivered.

We tend to live by default, doing exactly what we did the day before. The result of such a pattern of "living" is that we discard our spiritual practice - that time when we connect to receive the loving acceptance of whoever it is we place our faith with. We roll along like this until things start going wrong and we feel disconnected and lost. Suddenly we remember to pray! Burn sage! Meditate! We're so funny, I'm the same way.

This morning I pulled out every tarot and wisdom deck I could get my hands on, shuffled them up and pulled a card from each of the decks. What a goofball. Was this really going to make up for the last year when I allowed my spiritual connection to languish? Of course not, but I enjoyed it and felt a little something from each card that I pulled. There was a sense of relief to have these tools so close at hand. The thing about tools of course is that they do nothing unless they're used.

Our spiritual connection is the ever present, unconditional loving big set of wings that hold our tender hearts when we ask. It's so easy to wander off the path and deny ourselves this light in the darkness. Over the last year when it seemed there was more dark than light, my trusty (now dusty) decks were right there waiting for me. Going forward my plan is to give myself a few minutes to connect with the divine loving force I choose to call God. In addition to my daily prayers, I am going to include some time that feeds my soul. A balanced life is made up of mental/emotional health, physical health and spiritual health. Feed your spiritual connection as you feed your mind and body, regularly.

Our guides and guardians are ever present and respond to our requests. When this connection is affirmed daily, we receive a gift of hope and light not available to us via human connection - literally. If you need your cup filled, don't turn to your husband, wife or partner - turn to the unseen loving force that wants acts only for your highest good.

Tuesday, June 28, 2016

Baby Steps

I recently met a woman who came for her first reading ever. In her life she has experienced intense trauma and grief. At the age of 23 her husband was murdered in front of she and her 2 year old son, he died in her lap. Subsequently her brother, mother, father and other brother all passed away. Mind boggling loss.

She is accomplished in her life and profession with the exception of her partners. Over and over she has been taken advantage of, lied to and disrespected by the men she chose. When I asked her if she wanted an intimate relationship she couldn't answer right away. History had shown her it wasn't safe to allow herself to bond closely with a partner, after all, her first love was brutally taken from her at the ripe young age of 23. It was a simple question but one that she took home to ponder.

Her relationship with her father had been one of great love and respect, in both directions. I encouraged her to remember the feelings she had when her dad was here, that feeling of allowing herself to receive his love and support. If we have a memory of anything, it can be activated by our conscious attention. This is why we serve ourselves best when we stop retelling our traumatic stories. If our desire is to move out of old conditioning, we must consciously let go of the disempowering memories and events of the past. It's a practice. Like all things that we learn, we first practiced. Be patient as you practice telling yourself a happier story of who you were. Every choice made in the past came from an innocent desire for love. Let yourself off the hook for the way you conducted yourself before you knew how to do it better. Baby'll get there.

Monday, June 27, 2016

Do The Best You Can In Every Moment

I’ve been sitting here waiting to feel better. Every day in my mind I take a walk, work out or ride a bike. And every day I sit here waiting to feel better. Losing my brother was a quick trip to shut down mode. I’m finding that I don’t always want to talk and that turning inwards brings on loneliness.
It is challenging when someone tells me about someone who has it way worse so I should be thankful. Trust me friends, that is neither loving or helpful. Pain, loss and recovery ...are a most intimate journey. Your pain is relative to your life experience. For me to diminish your loss by comparing it to anyone else’s makes no sense. We come from different backgrounds and experience and process our lives in our own unique way. Please don’t tell me to be thankful that I don’t have some else’s problems, this is not a competition, this is life.

This morning was the first time I got up, put on my shoes and took a walk. I know it’s what I needed. I’m hoping this was my literal and symbolic first step to the new normal. It is hard to know what to do or say when someone has suffered a tragic loss.

To us they’re not really gone as they live on in our hearts; precious and beloved. We still want to say their name and talk about them, even if it makes us cry. The first year is particularly difficult, remember to stay in touch with your friends and loved ones in the months after the memorial service. And, please do understand they may not be able to be there for you as they always have been, it is not personal. We are all doing the best we can under our own circumstances.

Kind People Make The Best Friends

If you have any question about how someone will treat you in a relationship, notice how they talk about others. Notice how they treat their dog. Notice where the majority of their conversation stems from. Expressions of lack or pessimism cannot do anything other than perpetuate out into our relationships.

Seek the company of those willing to look past apparent reality and choose still to embody hope and wear the best smile they can. Not that we must deny our pain, rather that they are uncommitted to remaining in a state of suffering. A display of understanding that present circumstances are painful and that all states are temporary is healthy.

The company we keep dictates our overall sense of well being. Choose the people that listen and smile.


It’s been a very long time since my father died – 25 years. Recently I had the thought that I understood grief but didn’t actually remember the depth of the pain. When my brother made his journey home on March 12 my family’s life has changed forever. Obviously. In the ensuing weeks I have run a cycle of being paralyzed, numb and sad to my core. Last week anger set-in. I didn’t feel angry at anyone, just anger rumbling around in my mind and body. I wanted to lash out a...nd unburden myself of the pain I was feeling and witnessing in my family. Part of me wants to scream and the other part wants silence.

Physical death is finite; no more talks and laughs, no more hugs. Transitioning from our mortal relationship to the spiritual is personal and we process at our own speed in our own way. Friends ask what they can do… we do not have an answer. To summon up a request from the depth of our pain is (in my experience) nearly impossible. If you would like to do something for your grieving friend or loved one – just do it. Please do not feel offended that they do not take you up on your offer of “if you need anything call” that’s simply not going to happen.

It is lovely to receive a check-in; to know we’re being thought of – that feels really good. Keep it brief; know that we may not have the energy to hear about what you are going through in your life. It is not that we do not care, it is that we simply do not have the bandwidth to hold the space for you right now.

It is hard to put yourself in another person’s shoes especially when you too are affected by the loss. I think the key to showing up is to be considerate as we process our life change and step slowly into the new normal our life is becoming. Thank you for being there and holding our hearts in your prayers.