Monday, June 27, 2016

Do The Best You Can In Every Moment

I’ve been sitting here waiting to feel better. Every day in my mind I take a walk, work out or ride a bike. And every day I sit here waiting to feel better. Losing my brother was a quick trip to shut down mode. I’m finding that I don’t always want to talk and that turning inwards brings on loneliness.
It is challenging when someone tells me about someone who has it way worse so I should be thankful. Trust me friends, that is neither loving or helpful. Pain, loss and recovery ...are a most intimate journey. Your pain is relative to your life experience. For me to diminish your loss by comparing it to anyone else’s makes no sense. We come from different backgrounds and experience and process our lives in our own unique way. Please don’t tell me to be thankful that I don’t have some else’s problems, this is not a competition, this is life.

This morning was the first time I got up, put on my shoes and took a walk. I know it’s what I needed. I’m hoping this was my literal and symbolic first step to the new normal. It is hard to know what to do or say when someone has suffered a tragic loss.

To us they’re not really gone as they live on in our hearts; precious and beloved. We still want to say their name and talk about them, even if it makes us cry. The first year is particularly difficult, remember to stay in touch with your friends and loved ones in the months after the memorial service. And, please do understand they may not be able to be there for you as they always have been, it is not personal. We are all doing the best we can under our own circumstances.


  1. Julie....I keep you in my thoughts often and pray to the Angels that they surround you with their love. I believe your posts help do many of us understand and put into perspective the meaning and form that grief takes on for all. It's a great reminder to all to be kind and gentle in our thoughts when someone has experienced such a great loss such as yours. Thank you for your honest posts. Oxox

    1. Thank you Daria. <3 Sometimes I hesitate before I hit the Publish button, but in the end, it is my desire to share real life with it's grit and with it's glory. Lots of love to you my friend. xox